These are the common themes I struggle with. And today I'm ok talking about them, writing about them and sharing my experience with others. And as I attempt to grow in my understanding of them, I find I'm not unique in nearly as many ways as I thought.
Maybe you've felt this way, maybe you haven't. I'm getting better with it and more comfortable with a process of action that moves through it. And behind it for me, i've found, is often fear. Fear of making the wrong decision, fear of failure, fear of what others will think. However, i've come to realize that the fears are not real (like danger is real) and that when i work through whatever it is or however it up in my life, i'm often amazed by how quickly it simply fades away.
What decision, project, goal or other aspect of your life is effected by Analysis Paralysis?
Here's another one that's on of my biggest growth areas. I procrastinate. On the stupidest stuff. I avoid stuff i don't want to do. I avoid what i'm not proficient or excel at. I avoid, put off, delay wherever I can.
There's a whole lot of fear behind my procrastination. Let's say, i have a presentation at work or something. Well, I'm a perfectionist. And if delay on the project, I can delay the fear and uncertainty that come with what's working in me behind being a perfectionist.
I used to position it that I was really good with deadlines, now i realize that i'm really good at being lazy and being driven by motivating factors that i'm only slowly becoming aware of. And as Suroweicki's quote above says, the perplexing thing about it is that it doesn't work as to make me happy. It only delays what I have to do anyway. It puts additional, unnecessary pressure on me. It builds and mounts until i can't put it off any longer. That's not really a good thing for peace in my life. This week I'm going to make a concerted effort for a little less procrastination in my life.
There was a time not too long ago where i had a whole lot of this going on under the surface, but was unaware of it. Today, I learn about it. I write about it. I talk about it. I meditate on it. I grow in my understanding.
However, that can be a catch 22. In a world of busy-ness driven by a consumer culture that constantly tells us that we'll only be ok and good enough if we have this or get the newest that, these are not comfortable topic for the world at large. Let's talk about the weather, the sports team, the tv show, politics, the news - anything but what's really going on in our lives. The good ole American way I guess.
I guess i'll continue to read about it, listen to others talk about it and write about it, while seeking direction to do more about it.
Peace & love,